A rascal and a monkey find themselves stranded on a far away island. Contrary to adapting; planning an escape from the trap they’ve set themselves, they linger aimlessly. Simply, the pair struggle through – searching for vice, making love to anything that suggests a viable orifice. Ever wrapped up in their bad habits: It’s the new track from The Last Shadow Puppets.
When news leaked of the new album from indie’s favourite scallywag duo, excitement was understandably high. Unfortunately the nausea kicked in before we’d even had the chance to feast on the proverbial school dinner. Their promo shoot suggests two Miami pimps trying to lure you into a mid-80s den of iniquity. Picture their sales technique: ‘come on in to the puppet’s den, ladies and gentlemen…’ Immediately you’re greeted by the owner; cutting up lines of cocaine atop a Betamax, chewing tobacco with a Stanley knife in his back pocket. The leopard print sofas are tearing, the neon pink wallpaper drips to the floor; adding to the fluid already sticking to the heel of your shoes. You don’t want to know what it is. This whole experience would still be a damn sight more pleasurable than the duo’s latest release: Everything You’ve Come To Expect. And therein lies the problem.
‘March of the Mods diamond geezer’ turned offender register suspect, Miles Kane, has been a cheeky – yet rather heavyweight and burdensome – monkey on Alex Turner’s back since the pair became friends during his days with The Rascals (google them if you need to). Winging his way into the limelight with his ‘I’m in their gang’ approach to guest appearances at Glasto headline sets and third wheeling at awards tables, Kane’s solo efforts aren’t bad (largely due to the fact most of them were penned by Turner himself). The first Last Shadow Puppets album arrived back in 2008 when anything Turner touched seemingly turned into gold – and it stood up rightfully to all the other great albums he’s worked on in the last ten years. The pair looked sharp, sounded sharper and the lyrics were fantastic.
Wind the clock forward and Turner appears to have developed a coke-inspired ambition to paint himself as the waxwork lovechild of Josh Homme and Elvis Presley. He likes to remind us, in case of lingering doubt and often through horrendously lax lyrics these days, that the multi-millionaire frontman of one of the world’s biggest and most successful bands is quite good at getting his end away. Gentleman Jack Turner used to be able to mask his desires with quite an eloquent, almost veiled, wit. However, on current efforts, he’d have been as well scribbling ‘a pair of charmers who like sex’ on the album sleeve and saved themselves the hassle of recording. The propositional sleaze poetry-cum-Yewtree warning lights of ‘little girls’ and ‘baby’ is wearing ever so tiresome.
If you’re still adamant that The Last Shadow Puppets give your Twitter a bit of extra cred points, some tickets are still available for their upcoming UK tour.